I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
