Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
