so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
