Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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