Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
