They should really pass out barf bags in church
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
