We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
