he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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