I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
