Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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