she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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