So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
