he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
