Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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