Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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