She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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