i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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