Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
