i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
