It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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