We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
