We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
