I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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