Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
