dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
