Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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