dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yo dont text me then not text me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
