dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
