Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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