Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
that's an acceptable place to lick
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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