she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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