I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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