The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
