it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
