My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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