I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
