You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
