she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
