You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Every concussion has its silver lining
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
