As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
