some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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