If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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