...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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