Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
