Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
