Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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