did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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