she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
