If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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