I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
