its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
