I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
